It’s crazy to me, that in only six months from now, I have to hand in my Bachelor’s thesis, and by crazy I mean a positive kind of crazy. University has been a hell of a roller coaster ride and as much as it was all worth it, I can’t wait for what’s next. And what is next? Honestly, I don’t know yet.
When I tell my friends or family members about my plans after university, I often hear them say, that I always have a plan and know what I want, which is funny to me because I feel like it’s the opposite. For many things in life, no matter if in my distant or near future I only have a vague idea about what I want and what comes next. For now, I’m planning on going abroad again for a couple of months. I don’t know yet where I will end up going, but I’m pretty sure I won’t be here in Germany in only half a year. Maybe I will be working in a Surf Camp in Costa Rica or at Disney World in Orlando. At least, these two possibilities currently seem to be the most realistic ones out of all the ideas I made up in my mind. But maybe I will end up in a country where I haven’t even applied for a job yet. We will see. It doesn’t bother me much that I don’t know all the answers yet.
I always loved new beginnings. I love not to be sure about what comes next. It would be boring to me if every step I planned out in my head would turn out exactly the way I imagined. There wouldn’t be room for surprises. I think the reason why I dread routine, in the long run, is because I always know what each day, week, month or even year is going to look like. I remember a phase, I was 15 at that time when I was extremely bored. I was so bored that I wanted to go to boarding school and start all over again just to escape the routine I was used to. I wasn’t depressed. I wasn’t bullied. I didn’t suffer from any mental disease. In fact, I had a (mostly) pretty good life, decent grades and the best friends. But still, I couldn’t stand living the same life for three more years to come.
I often say that I feel like my life only really started once I left school and although this is an overstatement, I know now why I felt so much more alive after graduation. It’s because of the constant change and uncertainty I was facing. When I was a bored 15-year old I knew that would be spending three more years in the same school I used to go for three years already. Six years of doing more or less the same thing in the same environment is a long time for someone like me. As I said in one of my previous blog posts, I don’t see myself as someone who works in the same job or even the same industry for a decade because I just need some changes from time to time.
Ever since 2015, the year I left High School, each year has been pretty exciting because everything seemed to be so unpredictable. The most predictable aspect for me during the last couple of years was going to university since it was a rather long time frame. Soon, this time will be over and I will be in a similar situation as I was in 2015 when I was suddenly facing opportunities I either hadn’t seen or hadn’t had access to before. Of course, phases like these can be a bit overwhelming, but they are also huge chances and often require you to step out of your comfort zone.
If you’re not someone who embraces change and uncertainty but dreads it, think about all the shifts you’ve already overcome in your life. I bet after each transition you felt a little bit more confident and possibly a little bit wiser, too.